Seniors Outreach - May 13, 2020

Living through a pandemic does strange things to a person. Suddenly the most cynical of us are responding to internet chain letters and sharing questionable memes.

This also means grandparents, stuck at home and social distancing without toddlers or jobs, have all the time in the world to forward emails full of cheesy jokes.

Or We may find that daily some of the following happen to us:

1. Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half (not sure).

2. I used to spin the toilet paper like I was on “Wheel of Fortune.” Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.

3. I need to practice social distancing from ... the refrigerator.

4. HINT: Every few days, try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believing all is well in the kingdom.

5. I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to Twilight Zone.

6. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into the house, told my dog...we laughed a lot..

My Self-Isolation Quarantine Diary:

Day 1 – I can do this!! Got enough food and water to last a month!

Day 2 – Opening my 3rd large bottle of water. I fear I may swim away.

Day 3 – Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds. Who Knew??

Day 4 – 8 p.m.: Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas.

Day 5 – Today, I tried to make hand sanitizer. It came out as Jell-O Shots!!

Day 6 – I get to take the garbage out. I’m so excited, I can’t decide what to wear.

Day 7 – Laughing way too much at my own jokes!!

Day 8 – Went to a new restaurant called “The Kitchen.” You must gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

Day 9 – Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems nice. He’s a web designer.

Day 10 – Isolation is hard. I swear my fridge just said, “What do you want now?”

Day 11 – I realized why dogs get so excited about something moving outside, going for walks or car rides. I think I just barked at a squirrel.

Day 12 – If you keep a cup of coffee in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face.

Day 13 – Watched the birds fight over a worm. The Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3-1.

Day 14 – Anybody else feel like they’ve cooked dinner about 395 times this month?

-- Lizzy Acker

[Source: https://www.oregonlive.com/coronavirus/2020/04/13-corny-grandpa-jokes-to-help-you-feel-better-about-the-coronavirus-pandemic.html

Changes – Where we are heading???

Alberta Cases: 5,836 Deaths: 104

Alberta plans allowed some scheduled, non-urgent surgeries to start Monday (May 4/2020). Service provided by dentists, physiotherapists and other medical professionals are also to be permitted. Golf courses reopened May 2, though pro shops and clubhouses remain shuttered.

On May 14, retail businesses, such as clothing, furniture and bookstores, are to be allowed to reopen gradually. Cafes and restaurants with no bar service will also be allowed to run at half capacity. The second phase also includes potential kindergarten to Grade 12 classes — with restrictions — and the reopening of movie theatres and theatres, again, with restrictions. The third phase would see nightclubs, gyms, pools, recreation centres and arenas reopen, all with restrictions. There is no time-line for the final two phases.

Phases two and three will be contingent on the success of earlier phases and will, potentially, see all business re-open, the resumption of concerts and festivals and lifting of restrictions on the number of people in one gathering. Phase two could see schools open; nightclubs and rec facilities will remain closed until phase three.

We just do not know when we will see the second and third phases to re-open.

[SOURCE: COVID-19 reopenings: Here are all the plans by province and territory to ease coronavirus lockdowns: Find out how your province is emerging from a COVID-19 lockdown, and whether you can golf, eat at a restaurant or send your kids to school Canadian Press story, May 7/2020 - https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/reopening-canada-provinces-ontario-quebec-saskatchewan-alberta]

These type of informational presentations will often promote the idea that “we’re out of the woods” and now life will return to normal. Normal is an interesting term. As seniors we have recognized that our normal may shift greatly each season of our lives. Normal promotes the idea that we may not need to concern ourselves with how we treat our social interactions. No so. In general, one should be concerned, as a senior at least, with the recognition that we will need to remain apart from others and will need to wash our hands/sanitize our hands, as part of our new normal. At least, for the next few months. Being social creatures we tend to ignore such directions. Please don’t ignore them. Remain Safe!

Until further notice, Seniors Outreach encourages everyone, as much as possible to PLEASE STAY HOME. We may have some further activities available over the next few days and weeks as Alberta may be able to START removing restrictions. However, in all situations, continue to practice PHYSICAL DISTANCING OF AT LEAST 2 METERS. Please continue to Practice FREQUENT HAND WASHING or SANITIZING and WIPE DOWN ITEMS that you have been in contact with – before and after usage. Be safe and keep others safe as well.

The present situation continues to still be quite changeable, however, Seniors Outreach will continue to take phone calls/emails in order to set up deliveries where possible, answer questions, and even assist with forms. You are also welcome to email us at

office@seniorso.ca . We will provide support where possible. Please Call 403-443-2555 or from Carbon and area 1-888-443-2555 (toll free) for any assistance.

REMINDERS: UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE:

1. The Provincial Building in Three Hills continues to be LOCKED. However, at present, the SENIORS OUTREACH MAIN OFFICE in that building will continue to be staffed and to take calls between 9:00 a.m. and 2:00 p.m. (Mondays to Thursdays). Limited admittance may occur, if necessary.

2. MEALS ON WHEELS AND FROZEN MEALS ON WHEELS are still available. Contact us for the frozen meals menu/costs and payment before the next order date: Monday, May 11/20. Delivery for those frozen meals will occur on Tuesday, May 19/20.

3. Delivery driving is available for those who need this support.

4. Extention Offices in Acme, Carbon, Linden, Torrington & Trochu remain CLOSED

5. All BUS RUNS HAVE STOPPED and NO Community Bus runs will occur on Tuesdays and Thursdays each week in Three Hills.

6. The CommUnity Drop-In Centre, Three Hills remains CLOSED.

7. NO BUS TRIPS TO RED DEER are presently planned for May.

Be Encourged: Telephone - 1-877-JOY4ALL (1-877-569-4255) where teens have come up with stories, jokes, and more for seniors. Dial #1 for jokes, Dial #2 for today’s story, Dial #3 for today’s poem, Dial #4 for the daily dose of kindness, and Dial #5 for Listen & Learn.